Easter Dress

I love this girl, and she is loving the recent warm weather. (however as I write this, it is snowing outside. whatever) These are the only pictures I got from Easter because my Nikon is being held hostage. It doesn't matter though, cuz I think she is the cutest thing anyway.

Private

As most of you can see from the comments on the last post, Josh's family views what happened quite differently than I do. I think it is one thing to post your opinion on your own blog, but to start harassing somebody by making annonomys comments on their blog, well that is just sad. Luckily I have a pretty good idea of who it was. I have no idea at what point they all turned on me. A few weeks ago they were all telling me how horrible this all was that this was happening and that I deserved so much better than their son and brother. Who knows, and at this point, I really don't care.

Thanks for everybodys support. That's what has helped me so much. Regardless of what Josh's family thinks my marriage was like, it only took a few times meeing Josh and I to see who the problem was. They used to believe that too.

So...

Due to recent biased and untrue remarks made by someone who thinks they know everything and has all the right answers, I am going to have to do something I never wanted to and make my blog private. I am learning there are less and less people I can trust to have access to where I can write my thoughts and opinions. If you read my blog, please leave your email address as a comment, or send me a message with it on facebook. I plan on going pivate this Wednesday Friday.

I've got to laugh about it though, cuz I should have realized that this was going to happen sooner or later.

Anyway on the bright side, when my blog goes private, the gloves really come off, cuz I can react to Josh however I want to.

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them

I don't know what my problem is lately. I felt like I was doing really great considering my situation, but for some reason these past few days I have felt like bursting into tears at any minute. I filed for divorce this week which was such a bittersweet thing. I know that it was the next step in moving on, but it just doesn't seem real. I kinda feel like I'm having a horrible dream. Josh is going to be furious when he gets served because our idea of what is "fair" is completely different. Poor Payton has been sick with a cold for what seems like forever. Tonight while I was trying to get some sleep before work she was coughing so hard she threw up all over in her crib. Poor thing. She is such a trooper though and luckily being sick doesn't affect her mood. Which reminds me that I came back to work about a week ago after a leave of absence, and adjusting to my horrible schedule is getting the best of me. Working 1am-7am four days a week is tough, but thankfully that will change in June. Although I don't know how much better 9pm to 530am is. I'm thinking my lack of sleep has had some contribution to my thoughts. Also, Josh has told me things that he has been doing that I would probably be better off not knowing (like inviting her to dinner with his family and their welcome of her with open arms), and I think that is what got me into this funk. My family (especially mom) has helped me out a ton. I'm so glad Payton is as young as she is. Thankfully she isn't old enough to understand what is going on and the bad choices her dad continues to make. Anyway, I don't mean to sound whiny and just complain. I do have a lot of things I am happy about. The things in my previous post for example, and this has really given me a chance to step back and see how my relationship with Josh really was. My mom told me the quote on the title of this post the other day by Maya Angelou "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." I just wish I would have believed him two years ago when he showed me who he was.